i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
