So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
