I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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