I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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