Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
