He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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