I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize