when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?