Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"