She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.