You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
