I am in a vortex of obligation.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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