I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
