Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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