Banned from zoo.
Again?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize