What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
