bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My vagina is very pro this idea
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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