Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
