why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
