Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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