ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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