hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
