Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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