New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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