If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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