So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
