you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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