ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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