Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Non-Jews are for practice
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
