this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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