wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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