i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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