I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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