you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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