was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize