I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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