I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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