Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
