you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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