The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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