So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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