Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
