Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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