And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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