put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
