Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
