I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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