Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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