Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
