Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
