ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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