I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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