I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
