the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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