Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
