addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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