Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
