Is it because I queefed?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
