just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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