Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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