Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
