lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
