i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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