idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
