you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
