I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
