I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
